Friday, March 18, 2011

New to this...

So many people are starting blogs these days, but I'm not quite sure I get it.  How is blogging much different than Facebook?  Yes, you can write more than your status updates.  Other than this, what's different?  I remember back in the day (not so long ago) everyone had LiveJournal.  That was before Facebook though so it made more sense.

The one thing I do look forward to is writing details down to remember important, fun, funny, exciting, and memorable "small things" in life.  Would anyone have any interest in what I have to say?  In the end, I am starting this for me.  :)

My thoughts for today...very mixed. 

One of our "small things" today was Bria actually got up on all fours and stayed there for about 30 seconds.  She had gotten up before but immediately went down.  So staying up for a longer time was big!  I must have really lazy kids.  I remember Evan never attempted to crawl until he was 10 months.  Bria is right on track with that.  We went to the doctor for Bria's 9 month check-up.  I was talking to the doctor about this and told her how I thought Bria was lazy.  The doctor laughed and said she just thought Bria was content...that's just a nice way of saying she's lazy.  :)

On to the sadder news.  My grandmother has been battling Alzheimer's for about 2 years now.  We moved her to a facility in DSM that specialized in this.  She has been doing fine but suddenly in the last six months, she started to slip physically.  This is a woman who was slalom water skiing about 5 years ago.  Huge difference from then  to today.  I guess aging is a bi*ch.  (Excuse my language).  In the last few weeks, anytime my mom took her out of her apartment, my grandmother got shaky and couldn't walk anymore.  She would immediately sit down and would break out in a sweat.  Monday, my mom took her to the doctor and found out it was the lack of nutrients.  (I could have told her that).  My grandmother now had to drink 3 ensures a day.  They also wanted to see her back on Friday (today) so they could do an ultrasound on her organs. The problem is, my grandma would drink them and immediately get sick from it.  Not pleasant.  So today, they went to the doctor and did the ultrasound.  Long story short, they think because she is not getting the nutrients, she is going into Renal Failure. 

The options:  Dialysis or kidney transplant. My grandma is a candidate for neither. 

So we think it is up to God now. 

I have so many mixed emotions about all of this.  Growing up, I was SO close to my grandmother.  For the longest time I lived four houses away from her.  Almost no one gets that benefit.  We were like best friends.  When her Alzheimer's disease hit, it was almost as if I had lost her then.  Today, she isn't who she was five years ago.  I feel as if I have already suffered that loss, but I'm going to have to suffer it again.  I don't want her to be in any more pain.  She is suffering right now.  She's so unhappy and doesn't understand nor does she have the capability.  She has been admitted to the hospital tonight so we will find out more tomorrow.  This will be what the rest of my weekend is consumed by.  And I'm OK with that. We don't have a time line or anything.   I don't mind giving up my weekend if it means I will get a few last moments with her.  You just never know when it will be your last....

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